Day 45

February 14, 2021

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

My desk on Valentines Day.  Valentine by Annie Quest in honor of Keith Haring

On February 5th I wished my old friend, Jamie, happy birthday in this blog and reminisced a little.  Today her sister emailed me to tell me she was gone.  She died on February 10th.  I have a sense that I lost a body part I forgot I had.  We're too young to die.  I realize these days that is not a very accurate assumption, but still, we are too young to die.  

I think we were about 14 when these pictures were taken.  I actually may have taken the one on the right.  There's another one of me in the same pose at the same time.  We were both taking lessons at this point and our infatuation with boys had not won over, yet.  

Jamie, I hope you are out of pain and that you are truly at peace.  I know its what you always wanted. 

I took an early ride today because I thought the ice/snow might begin.  It was not inspiring, everything was grey, it all looked old.  But one thing that caught my eye was how far one could see into the trees across the rookery.  If a bear had walked by I would have seen her.  But nothing walked by.  Nothing flew by.  It was boring.  

The sun is setting much later  It is after 5 in these pictures.  I went back out.  I was curious to see what would happen on this day, on the quiet day.   

Valentines Day has never ever been a favorite of mine.  I'm sure its because I've never had a normal love affair.  I don't quite know what I think that means except none of my relationships have been like normal peoples'.  

It's like my role as a parent in this life time.  I have done every single stage of parenting, but not to the same child or in the right order.  I have been blessed with amazing children in my life, all of them fascinating, wonderful kids, but besides the one I gave birth to and placed into adoption, none of them were mine

So Valentines Day has never been very important to me.  But there are a few people who usually remember me, which makes me smile.  Annie sent out electronic cards in honor of Keith Haring.  She's teaching her art class kids about him.  Last week they all did Haring like pieces.  I love it.  

My Valentines Day was quiet and a little sad and kinda like the weather.  But on the other hand, I am here and I am grateful, really grateful for the splendor I do have in this life, which amounts to a whole lot.   And on top of everything else I get to follow this beauty daily.  

and I am greeted by this girl when I get home everyday.