Day 43

February 12, 2021

Happy Birthday Billie Mae

 

I'm having a difficult time being in this world today and not dripping off into another one.  Part of that is being incredibly aware of the generations before and after me.  In the last month several of my friend's, my generation, have lost parents.  And what I believed to be the babies, or those that are of the age that my grandchildren would be are in their 20's, adults, living their own lives.  Billie is an example.  22 today, in these photos  they were 11.  In the top photo they are with their Grandmolly.  They are still very important to each other.  And in the second they are with Bow, who we lost this year.   I love Billie and take them with me on my rides in my mind.   Happy Birthday!

I had a short ride today.  The canal was blocked, cars weren't allowed down the road.  It was also really grey.  I sat in this parking lot and stared over the river for a bit.  The snowman was still in his seat and today he was drinking hot chocolate and modeling a new bright scarf.  There were no birds visiting, not a goose or a gull.

The corner of the police department was covered in frozen splashes all down the wall.  It was hard to tell what they were hanging onto.  Crazy.

And the cove was just a flat winter wonderland.  There was very little contrast, everything was almost the same color and it just went on and on and on.

I ended my ride back at the Greenfield pool and again there wasn't much to see today.  It was too cold to try to walk around a little and I received two phone calls while I was there that I couldn't pick up.  Both phone calls were close friends named Tom.  I drove quickly back home to see if I could catch one of them, but by the time I got there he had left a present and gone.  Made me cry.

I seemed to be very easily made to cry today, I kind of woke up ready to cry.  I was dreaming that my nephew, Ember, was a baby, in my care and sick, but able to talk to me as though he was an adult.  A genius baby in my care and I was feeling like I was inadequate for the job.  Very other dream.