Day 47

February 16, 2021

A sad day

What a morning!  The sound of rain woke me up early.  Came downstairs and everything was ice.  My driveway is notorious for being a skating rink in times like these.  All of that white snow pummeled first by sleet and then by rain.  Ice covered branches and berries and inanimate things.

The temperature started rising pretty quickly.  Plenty of fog and plenty of rain.  I didn't go out into it until the rain stopped and the temperature was close to 40.  I stepped outside to blue jays screaming at something from a top of the spruce.  And then I heard that familiar hawk sound.  That EWWW.  I have this sense of safety when I hear it, like the world is alright.  They are my totem birds without a doubt.

There were two red tailed sitting together high in their tree.  One flew over towards the church and then came back and the other flew down a few trees overlooking the highway.  Mating season has officially begun.  I didn't spot their nest but I think it is close by.  Very exciting.  

I went in search of more, but what I found was fog, beautiful fog.  The sun was trying hard to break through at the rookery.  There were a lot of tracks on the pond today, but I didn't find any birds.  I'm willing to believe they were there hidden in the thickest parts of the fog.  I could hear a woodpecker.  

It's such a perfect back drop to a sad day.  I was sad all day, not depressed, but sad.  Yesterday's voyage into memories left me tender.  There's a poem emerging.

There's also an eruption of creative ideas.  I think its interesting that grief inspires me to think of new projects.  It doesn't help me finish them, but it helps me develop them.

So in addition to my interviews with non-binary people I have a couple of other ideas.  I want to interview others with blogs and introduce people to some interesting blogs that are happening.

I also want to do a book on the orchard. And there's always my Edite's Garden calendar and my poetry manuscript.  My heron show is going up on May 1st, so that has to be printed and there is the birth mother stories that I want so much to organize and put together in a cohesive structure.   And ideas are truly welcome.

I went over to Highland Pond because there was a lot of talk about bobcats over there and I thought maybe I'd see some tracks.  What I saw was mud and slush.  

And more birds in trees.  I couldn't identify these.  They actually maybe robins.