Day 78

March 19, 2021

Happy Birthday Marti Tiffany

I miss you

For some reason my photos reversed themselves tonight, you go back in time as you scroll.  I was up at the rookery and farm around 4 and it was 38 degrees.  I had not seen a lot of birds at all until I arrived at his part of the wetland.  And then there were several cardinals and red winged blackbirds flying in and around the old reeds. 

The farm is filled with pregnancies.  The sun was beginning to go behind the ridge, but there was sun to bring the goats out for some hay.  The cows were already there. 

I just sat up here and read for a while.  It was cold, but lovely and still. The edges have melted but there is still plenty of ice.  Not going to catch me on it, though.

I am not good at asking for help and I realized this week that when I get overwhelmed with stuff and frozen I need to reach out to someone just to get unstuck.  This week I reached out to my niece, Sarah.  It felt like such a relief and it reminded me I do have family.  Oh, I miss my family.

Part of what overwhelmed me was the I had several old students in real need for support this week.  I wanted to be able to be of more help, but I am not able to.  Life can be f'in hard and if I can feel overwhelmed at the moment I can just imagine how overwhelmed they feel in their circumstances.  They are reaching out to their support systems and I hope they are getting what they need, all I can do is cheerlead from the back.   I love you guys.  

I got to eat lunch in my favorite spot today.  It was 3 and there were no birds around at all, which is just odd, but the sun was so bright, it fed me.  

Tomorrow will mark the end of winter.  Time is so elusive these days, I have no concrete understanding of it being consistent, at all.  Will we have 3 months of perfect temperatures and the burgeoning of new life?   We will go from lavender and yellow to poppy red and iris purple.  I will bring a chair out to the backyard tomorrow and begin to write back there this weekend.  It'll be a good day.