Day 29

January 29, 2022

Tony Barrand 

April 3, 1945 - January 29, 2022

copied from UM collection  

Hard to describe what happens when parts of your life collide unexpectedly.  In 1974 I left Connecticut to go off to college in Marlboro, Vt.  I went to Marlboro because I was familiar with the Music Festival and it was small.  I didn't want to study music like my older siblings, but music was a huge part of me.  I knew I wanted to study psychology.  The psychology department consisted of Tom Toleno, Tony Barrand and John Roberts.  In 1974 they shared a salary and Tony and John had begun their singing careers so they were part time faculty, part time singers, full time both.  

The first concert of theirs's that I went to was in W. Brattleboro.  I went with Mary Toleno and Tristan and Robban who were 3 and 2 at the time.  I felt my lives collide that night, I felt like I could be at home and safe again.  There i was with this young family, these kids who climbed all over me and we were with their mother singing with friends, and entire barn filled with people singing sea shanties and other songs I'd learned who knows where.   

Tony was charming and fascinating and energetic.  The black and white photo was probably taken around 1974 when we met.  He was Tom's best friend, and uncle to the boys and British. 

They needed a place to stay in Connecticut near gigs they had and I offered my mother and her spacious home and they accepted. My family took them in, fed them and they made everyone laugh.  Jason was 9 at the time and excited by these guys.  Tony told him if he could memorize Albert and the Lion before they left he would give him a copy of the album.  Jason did and still to this day has that album.  He stayed in touch all of those years, 48 years.  

In 1991 I was adjunct faculty at UMASS.  I had given an assignment, which I don't recall, but while reading the papers later I found out that one of my older students was Tony's right hand dancer, had been dancing with Marlboro Morris Dancers for years and was very involved in the folk music scene in Brattleboro.  Eric Paul and I became fast friends, but he married soon afterwards and his life was busy.  But again, Tony's and my life collided.

I joined a chorus in 2012 and was asked to download music to listen to for the first concert.  I started to play one and knew I knew the tenor who was singing.  Tony was a friend of Mary Cay Brass who was the director of the chorus.  I was reintroduced to the joy of singing and with EJ went to several pub sings that Tony led.  By then he was in a wheel chair, but still charming and welcoming.  

The last time I saw Tony was at a Nowell Sing We Clear concert with Windbourne.  With MS and with some handicaps, he still was teasing everyone and smiling and singing.  Since Covid I've watched 2 concerts on Zoom and felt their presence. That has been a gift. 

Tony passed this morning.  I got to watch an impromptu celebration of his life on a zoom recording that had just happened with Kathy Bullock and Mary Alice and Peter Amidon.  It was very moving.  I got to talk to Tom whose over 50 year friendship with Tony was very important.  They say not to feel sad, but it is sad, maybe not forever sad, but for tonight, it is sad for many people whose lives were touched by an extremely gifted human. Tonight I will light a candle and sing, or at least listen to his music.  Go in peace Tony.   

I did look for more photos of mine from all those years ago, but I did not find any.  I find that odd.

I defended my plan of concentration at Marlboro in 1977 on a bright sunny blue day in May.  We sat outside the classroom building, Tony, Tom, Dalton Miller-Jones and me.  I felt pretty special that day, I may have been a little too nervous to do as good a job as I could have, but it was the first of several exams and the most special I encountered.  

We did not get the blizzard today.  We got a little snow, some wind and cold.  We also got the snow day.  I took no rides, nor picture and have not written a poem yet, although I hope to soon.  Stay tuned for a more typical day tomorrow.  Be good to your heart.

Another collision I just thought of has to do with my Birthmother Project play.  One of the women whose voice is part of the play is Nancy Schimmel.  Nancy is Melvina Reynold's daughter.  I knew Melvina through Tony and JOhn.   Baby Born In a Car, which they sang often and Melvina wrote, was written about Robban Anthony John Toleno's birth.  When I interviewed Nancy, a storyteller in her own right, she talked some of her relationship with her mother's colleagues with fondness. It was a comforting connection for us both.