Day 63

March 4, 2022

There is so much I have to say.

I once had a dream about being in the back of an open horse driven wagon with Ricky driving and Jason a little boy, scared, in the back with me.  I kept reassuring Jason everything would be ok because Ricky was driving.   Happy Birthday, Rick.  I hope it was a fun day.  

Another day of posting backwards. 

It was a great day.  I love the pool and I love my pool buddies.  It is so reassuring to have that group of people behind me.  It doesn't make a lot of sense, but it is the truth, they are grounding, they make it all possible.

I saw a lot of big birds today.  The swans have left the canal and gone back to the cove and the canal is filled with Canada Geese.  I saw mallards, common merganser, and a few gulls in the canal and the cove had geese, swans, gulls and little birds I couldn't really see.

At dusk there was a Tom Turkey crossing the road.  There were a lot of deer between the Lucks and the rookery.  I actually didn't see any hawk.  And the sunset was not very interesting.  The sky was cloudless.  But I loved my ride.

I feel like I'm living three lives at once and don't know which one to focus on.  

There's love, ya know.  I spent 4 months with lots of affection and company.  Then Tom went to work in NH a month ago or more and his life changed direction and he was gone.  Today we did lunch and I heard about his life, and I'm happy about it.  And I'm happy about mine, but I'm sad about us losing time together, I'm sad about my not getting stuff he was giving me.  That sounds fairly selfish and I am willing to admit that, but its the truth.   

A sliver of a moon setting, so pretty.

I think I need to take the night off and just be me, not a writer, not a facilitator, not an original mother, nor a poet, just Lindy.

Jack came for a visit tonight with Di.  He's such a handsome boy.